31 December 2005
Finally manage to recover my password lers. Hahax.
291205, Thurs
After watching the movie with them, went to the nearby 24hrs mc to chat till morning near 7am lidat then went back home the next day 30 Dec...
301205, Fri
Reach home about 8am then online till 9am went to bed and be pig lers. Hahax... sleep till 12pm lidat, heard mom came back home. OMG!!! Thought is 2pm in the afternoon. Haha... cuz dad's going for check-up at NUH, she accompany him there. No wonder so early reach home lols...
Dilly dally till 2pm then go out meet girls. They're rotted at home... sorries. Went shopping here and there... sianz... no money to shop... some more went to sakae sushi to eat the buffet... ooo... *Vomitted* ate too much... sucks... think 2006 I'm not going to eat sushi any more...
Bugis retail shop seems to like Jay songs very much arh? Hahax... walk here playing shan hu hai, walk there also playing shan hu hai... now... then I realised... how much I misses you. 3 more days? Wondering how you been doing... hopefully you're fine... take great care...
Hmm... then take bus 154 back to Jp, so rotted sitting on the bus. Haix... butt's burning. Haha... then saw a couple sit next to me, they're just so lovely. Yea... Felt envious of them.
Reach JP walk walk hanging around. Hmm... saw the purple bot perfume costing 19.90 @ missah also no money to buy... then walk away lol, what to do? Steal arh? Me not that CB kies? Haha... no money then don't buy lors, quickly find a job and earn tons of money back bahs... hmm... that's the way... then can buy lots of things I like de lol...
Then reach home near 10pm? Haix... so early... thought they gonna be ye mao zi with me at PM. But sigh... nevermind, they're tired, what to do?
311205, Sat
Again, slept till mom came back home. Cuz last night sms chat with friend... cool. Know what he said? Here it goes: "If one day you feel lonely and thk that no one in this world cares, i want u to know that there's someone here who rmbs you no matter what!" Wah sey... short and sweet sms can makes me real touched that I went stunned and speechless... haix... see... this kind of friend... real steady bahs... haha... stop my compliements... scared wait ppl out there reading will be so jealous... hahax... kidding norhx... thanks is all I can sae to you...
Then late... cuz meeting Jo's... rock... miss her so much yet I'm late. Haha... think she used to it le bahs... lol. Hmm... nothing... bought something for them then the hair clip, too small... haha... nvm lol. Then go home lers...
Reach home, then I realised how poor I'm. Now... I discovered I've no money with me at all, not even a single cent. Haix... no more money to buy concession pass even, then how am I going to school on tuesday? Si bei jialat... luckily there're someone there for me, my sister. I know i shouldn't approach her, cuz don't think she've enough money for herself. But luckily, think on the 6th or 7th gonna get my last pay ler, so... can return back to her. Hmm, I can don't eat, but I really need money for concession pass, so... no choice but to try my luck. Haha... so 50 bucks from her, xie xie ni jie jie... lurfes u lotta... v realistic orh? Haha... I'm like this lol.
Hmm... actualli mom can help me out de, but sianz... quarrel with her till now still haven't ok. Haix... life's without her... is really a kind of pain. Haix... sianz... I just wanna be more independent so really appreciate if things gonna be like what's happening right now... is so much peaceful... enough... I'm just being too emotional. Haix...
Tonight... going out again. Plan to go town area countdown but gers they all don't want. Cuz budget... cabby fare ex. So stays at Jur here lol. Rotted... but hope... sincerely praying that it gonna be fun, that's all. I'm wanna being a new year... with a happy year... and not... being a saddix anymore...
Beginning a new year without money is really si bei sianz...
What's to do?
Putting an end to it, year 2005
I hope I'll luv myself more
15:55
30 December 2005
Nice hanging out with you two
Thanks for e treats worx...
Just reached home from cine... catches king kong with Randy and YD... nice hanging out with them. Thanks guys for the treats. Hmm... tonight come back home then update more cuz now very tired lers, wanna sleep liao... left 4hours only. Later going out with Kelly and Qin to bugis haunt for bags...
I hope I'll luv myself more
08:17
29 December 2005
Thanks you guys passes my life
[P] - Get to know you through mood cake festival, frankly speaking... nice knowing you. You're the one who said that you liked me since it has been so long that I've been single. I thought there gonna be some possibilities that we're going to be together but sigh. Hopefully everything's running smoothly for you now and you had been fine all along...
[W] - Dotx... I got nothing to comment you're just a guy whom I think I'm gonna have great time with. With you around, laughters will always be there. It was really memorable on my birthday... hmm... yea... thanks lotta! Hope that we'd be friend once again...
[K] - Guess among them, you're the only one left who haven't admit that you liked me. But kept asking me to go to your house. Hmm, if as a friend then that's fine. Find one day where both of us are free and I'll be your guest, remember must entertain me orh?!! Haha... you're far away too young for me, so all I wanted is to be friend and treasure you lots...
[D] - Really happy that you admit you liked me. I thought there gonna be some possibilities to be together with you. But it seems like both of us are so da-nan-ren zu yi and da-nu-ren zu yi, so how 'd it be possible to be together. You cares about me all the time, and I really appreciate it. I know you don't like me to hang out too late cuz is dangerous but you didn't said out cuz you wanna me to do what I wish to do and giving me freedom. Haha... yea... both of us know, is possible to be together but is impossible to last the r'ship. Is precisely true of what you've said before, "It isn't easy to forget someone". I really know how's the feeling is torturing ones. Chances there are plenties... nothing is impossible... believe in miracle... and let time proves everything. That's all I can say... If you're hurted, I'm sorries... go ahead and hates me but not hurt yourself... no matter what... 184 da frenz kies? Missing euu lots lots...
[T] - Yea guess among them you're the one who really knows me well. You're a good guy and I believe you can find someone better than me. So don't wait for me, there's still a long way to go and you're going to NS soon right? All the best norhx...
[A]- Among so many, think you're the one that let me misses you so deeply each day. I think I had been playing too much, fooling you round and round. I'm really sorry. I'll not forget that day... a great night that I've with you. That day... that night smses really let me seen through you. Well... I know you can't forget her, so forget it... don't wish to force you neither do I want you to try forgetting her. Yea... you're flirty but once you got your cup coffee, you'll be devoted aren't you? I really wish to heard from you that afterall, the person you can't forget is me... haix... missing euu so much... did you know that I've fallen in love with you? Perhaps you know... perhaps you'd like to give it a try... but I don't wish to take the risk... don't wish to hurt you , don't wish to hurt myself... hopefully all the days that I've been waiting will not be down the drain...
I hope I'll luv myself more
09:02
Missin euu...
8:20AM in the morning and I'm awake. Feeling sleepy but musn't fall asleep cuz really have to get my homework all done today cuz the rest of the holiday I guess I'm going out for the whole day, so...
School life's really sucks up.
No more money to spend *Sobbies* Hmm, time to work? Yea, pending for her call lolx... Pray hard hard...
5 more days... haix...
I hope I'll luv myself more
08:21
Not 2kgs that I've gained but 3kgs! SIGH
I hope I'll luv myself more
00:02
28 December 2005
Nice hair that I've got
Thanks terrace and xiang
By right should be kelly who's the one gonna get her hair coloured but in the end the person's not there when she visited her house. Dotx... ("-")
So she called at around 10am + lidat and then I woke up to accompany her eat breakfast norhx. On my way there, so sunny... burning... forgot to use sun block lotions... Opps! I'm being exaggerated. After finish, went to mac to accompany her buy ice milo then talk talk, chat chat. Haha... suddenly asked her to call Terrace to check out how much if I do rebond of fringe, dye and highlight. He said 230 bucks before 20% discounts... hahax...
So we went up norhx... cuz anxious and he was like so surprised. Hmm... waited for him half an hour. Then finally my turn, started off with rebonding. He wants to trim my fringe slant, slope but I told him my face so big, cut lidat not nice. Haha... then forgotten what he said le, then I say okay lols... but don't cut till too short. Haha... then highlighting, colour... nice... he choose for me de. Hmm... rather satisfied. Then Xiang help me do treatment... throughout help me wash 3 times of hair... hahax... but orh... both of them very chor lor... sianz... keep kena my ear piercing. Terrace still dare to ask me why wanna torture my ears, whether I dreamt of it when sleeping. I said: "No la, I only dreamt that my ears dropped lols.."
Then in between waited for him to help me do highlighting, I went out to have my lunch. When back, he asked me what I ate. I said wanton noodle... then he asked me never treat him. Haha... I said no need la... you all so rich... haha... he said... mei you na ge ming qu hua...
Terrace very good in talking and also very efficient bahs... a very nice hair stylish whom worked for 6 years lers... guess next time my hair will let kimage do for me le bahs... haha... feel the people there are all very friendly...
Xiang nehx... a very quiet guy. Have a very jap + xiao shuai + cute looking norhx. Wa sey... haha... reminds me of Zhi Yi... if the both of them stand together sure very compatiable de. But orh... I like him nehx... haha... so I won't let them together de norhx... haha... kidding lah... just wanna be friend nia. Hmm... so jap de frenz... sure can hao lian de... heex... =]
Don't know I think too much or what... haha... he stood behind me 2 times while terrace doing my hair. Then he was like looking at me through the mirror... aiyo... I feel so pai sey... *Blush* Then there's once when he was doing my hair for me is when he help me to do the base color, looked at me through the mirror also then I smiled at him... haha... he smiled back nehx! Tian arh... I'm gonna faint. Help...
Hmm... just now while paying for my hair-do saw him from the reflection of mirror. Then wanna walk towards him and say "Bye" de... but don't know why don't have the courage. And... whenever friend wanna a guy's no... I'm always the bravest and the most daring to take from them. But orh... when I wanna a guy no... I always don't have the guts... sobbie... haha... but orh... I swear to god... I'll get from him this sunday when I accompany kelly to go do her hair treatment.
Anyway... total cost I don't wanna mention here. Haha... cuz I got buy the hair shampoo mah... so sure very ex de... and also the conditioner... free hair styling cream and laminate drops... put le hair shinning de... hahas... overall very satisfied bah... no comments lol... such a famous hair studio + professional hair stylish who looks so jap, so shuai, so cute doing my hair for me... contented...
Oh yah... for sure I'm gaining weights... is obvious my pant from lose to tight... almost going to boom soon my stomach... see... the disadvantages of being ye mao zhi... and I'm really going on diet for 2 days... haha... to get back to the weight I used to be. That will be thurs and fri... I'm not going to eat more than one meal... one small meal I'm going to have/day... yea... that's the way and nothing else. O... water..2 litres... I'm going for. Hahax...
Friday going out with kelly... haix... no money to spend... sianz...
That's about all... Hmm... tons of work haven't do nehx...
I dreamt of him again... misses him too deeply?
I hope I'll luv myself more
20:43
Missing euu
My Jack Russia
Finally I'm settle down with all my stuffs [Wash Up+Shower]. These few days has been hanging out late and each time I walked back home from PM, I always felt so unsecured walking along the street myself so I ran back home under the rain...
Going back to school real soon, missing those life. Sigh, perhaps the current me is used to working night shift life's le bahs... haix... is so hard to get back to the normal life.
We chatted and out of the blue, the passer by reminds me of Wen Hao who given me his just born jack russia... but is no longer with me now the dog. Sigh, it seems like it's the greatest regret to give it away to a stranger. *Full of regrets* How nice it's gonna be to bring my dog our for a run, a walk when I'm feeling lonely? The feeling is great... especially with roller blading / cycling? Haix...
If I have 5K I'm gonna buy a 3G handphone, a digital camera, a lappy plus Giwawa... don't think is enough norhx... still wanna do my hair... hahax... haix... too greedy and I never ever save up any money... sobbie
Yeah... the feeling is so great today... but for sure not at home. I'm feeling so damn sucks up at home... anione willing to keep me as his/her pet? Haha...
Guess I"m gonna get another blog... a personal one... which URL address sound nicer?
lifesucks
A_life_full_of_disgraces
Saddix_APG
Another_world
My_world
Hated
Sound so uncreative... any creative address for miie? Thanks...
6 more days...
I hope I'll luv myself more
03:20
27 December 2005
Have a great day
Exhausted
Slept till 11:30am while aiai cie phoned but still lying down on the bed norhx, so lazy to wake up. Cuz last night slept at 3pm + sigh... not enough sleep lolx. Usually slept till mom came back home from work around 3pm lidat de norhx. Haix... because wanna go ECP with them, so no choice but to wake up so early... =( Sobbie
Reached Bedok interchange hawker, had a plate of carrot cake shared among 3 of us. Hmm... rather nice but taste kinda salty lol. Hmm, then after which took bus go there, drizziling a little. Reached there rent bic @ $6 for 3 hours... haha... that guy see my friends pretty so give us free another 1hour... woo... cool, earn it. But cycle till rotted cuz cie cie blading... (o_oll) Gotta wait fer her... haix... lidat then frenz mahs... haha...
Frankly speaking kinda miss those time ice skating with good friends. Haix... wondering when will we be ice skating again. It has been quite some years though. But rather weird, I don't know how to blade norhx... hopefully one day cie cie is free to teach miie. Then I'll get my own roller blade... haix... it has been my wish since young... as young as 9 years old? Lol... mummy refused to buy... whatever I asked, yes she tried to buy but definitely not roller blade. Hmph...
I'm so dead beat... so exhausted... think uses up too much energy, that's why bahx. Jialat... so sleepy how to do project. Today's the dateline that I set for myself nehx... how how... ? Sleep first lols...
Yea, don't wish to be a lier... I miss euu...
That's about all, take great care friend...
Who cares to catch a mid-night show with miie later on? Sms me to wake miie up kies...
I hope I'll luv myself more
21:10
Nothing much I've done
Missing euu
Lol... have been online for 5 hours le going 6 hours. Guess what I've done for my project? Nothing much, sigh. Basically chatting lolx... then half way went to tidy up my book shelves again and of course is neater now. Hmm... also tidy up half of the cupboard, hmm... lots of things to tidy up norhx... and lots of bags to wash... yea... all rotted. Kidding la, 2 bags only...
Hmm... tomorrow going out with aiai cie cie and xiao mi + coconut. By right Jo's joining us too but she's away to genting, hopefully she'll remember to bring us some goodies back lolx.
Yea... I think the happygirl is gonna be back real soon, maybe on 010106? Hopefully norhx. Now I'm happy though sometimes still thinking of him. Haha... nothing wrong right? Yea... nothing's wrong. Hmm... Fridae meeting Kelly out maybe Qin too... hahas... going to kimage and do my hair... hopefully gonna be a nice one... pending for the day to come but... no rush, cuz I still needs lots of time to finish up my work and also to slack and enjoy myself.
Hmm... she's sick? My mum... is she? Hopefully she's not. Sigh, one week has gone didn't talk to her at all other than body languages that I've showed her each time she asked me something. And things at home really seems much more better, much more peacefully... that's good.
Oh yah... sigh... think dad bought me dinner, so sickening... afternoon 3pm plus jux ate still buy me dinner... sucks... dumpling noodles... not nice de. Haix... it's reminds me of that day... the treat from you... yea... didn't eat... so you ate up 2 plates? Hahax... hmm... is late now wondering how you? Hopefully you're slept well...
Is late... I'm still awake... tomorrow going out, wondering will I be able to wake up? You failed to morning call me on time everytime I told you to. Sigh... guess there won't be any more time you gonna morning call miie le... nvm... =)
Good night to all my friends...
I hope I'll luv myself more
00:24
26 December 2005
Regrets
Am I awake, hopefully. May asked me to work both yesterday and today. But I rejected cuz since there is no double pay for both days. But maybe if I choose to work last night, I won't be rotted now. Sigh...
Guess I've been missing him so deeply that I even dreamt of him wearning his school u, hahax... video cam himself and he looks happy. Haix...
Hmm... going to shower not going to miss anyone. Wanna get started for my project cuz it seems like the easiest among all assignments...
Happygirl shall be back soon?
Hopefully...
I hope I'll luv myself more
18:50
Life's sucks
Finally I had said out everything though I really felt disappointed with your answer last night but at least I get to know what you're thinking.
I don't blame you for what you have done to me cuz is all my fault, I'm the one who bought myself all these.
I don't wish to give you a chance when you haven't forget her. Well, it's not easy to forget ones and beside the two of you have been together for so long. I don't wish to force you to forget her neither do I wish you to try forgetting her. I'm just someone who happens to pass by your life perhaps, we're fated to be 184 de friend? Don't you think that's better? Afterall, I treasure friend more than anyone...
We've sort things out, yea... that's great. But sigh... it really takes me days to forget you. Is hard... and I'm struggling... striving harder and harder as days passes by... sigh
Good guys passes by my life, yet I don't even know how to treasure them. Why am I always so stupid?
Is all over, perhaps... he has already found his princess. All promised to wait, but all given up half way. Yea... I'm the one who forced them to give up on me. I'm selfish... real selfish... why am I ?
Life's torturing me, when I'm wishing for there's none when I'm living good, all came here and messed up my life's. Life's sucks...
... not only at home, not only in school but also in my dreamt...
I hope I'll luv myself more
16:13
25 December 2005
Lost Appetite
Haven't been eating a proper meal since x'mas eve... cake, fries nuggests and drink is all I had last night. And X'mas I only ate sandwich, how pathetic I'm. Oh well, lost my appetite again, perhaps is all because of you... SIGH *Yawn*
Wanted to start with either my project or homework but it seems like my mood wasn't there. Perhaps, all because of you again... SIGH *Speechless*
Thinking of you... SIGH
Missing dat dae I went to find euu, the kisses and the huggies ya given miie. I'm in love wif euu, but I noe even euu agreed to be wif miie, you'll neber truly lurfes miie cuz ya still haven't forgets her... sigh...
Luckily der iush still sth that I'd afford since I'm lazy... i'm famished! Order mc again... oh dear... hahax...
I hope I'll luv myself more
19:07
Nice chatting wif him, tawan
Tawan our class role model, haven't 've a good time like chatting with him like this afternoon before. He shared lotta which really let me understand him better, wrote a testimonial for him deep down from my heart. He's always feeling down and his health wasn't very good, sigh... just hope that things would be getting better for him, and she'll treasure him lots and never ever hurt and leave him, wishing em an everlasting lurfes... *Feeling envious*
So my holiday was like rotted? Eat, sleep, wash up, internet, sleep? If not working, then 'll be ye mao zi, hanging out late at night with friends... haish...
Specially for you: "Yea my holidae is packed wif outings, but I tried my best to slot in a time whereby the two of us can be together and have a great shopping. But sigh... it seems like our schedule is totally different... is hard to meet you out. Hopefully you understand... Hmm... have a nice holiday with your mom and enjoy urself to the fullest. Thanks for being there for me."
I simply can't tolerate him... oh dear... I'm speechless... Please stop smsing miie with all the events that are going on... please... !!!
Okay, is about time to crack my brain or else it gonna be rotted? Yea... start off with accounting?
Oh yah... gonna 've my hair-do asap... can't wait to 've a new hair style... lols... hopefully is nice kies? Cuz I really don't have much money to dumb lers...
I hope I'll luv myself more
14:44
24 December 2005
Just got back home from work, so tiring and resting in awhile. Actually also don't know why May called me back cuz there isn't anything for me to do except folding cartons the whole day, I'm dreadfully bored over there!
Holiday everyday is taken up, thing Monday can make up for another outing if anyone bothers to ask me out in the evening. Or maybe going to have my new hair-do? Sigh... I wanted to get another phone, most probably 'll be either nokia or SE..., wanna have a new hair-do [Rebond fringe, hair cut, coloured and highlight] Gosh... guess it gonna be damn dry... or I wanted a camera... or a personal digital camera... haix... so many things I wanted yet I couldn't 've have all except either one it. So friend, what you guys suggest me to buy? Ever since the day started, I misses you so much everyday. Hopefully you've not forgotten me... =]
Oh yah, think tonight my plannig is gone... haish... nobody's going with me except her, gonna be bored. So think 'll be staying at home sleeping and at around 11am plus then go out? Should be like this bahx, then guess I'd slp a longer tonight. Hahax...
Oh yah again, I forgotten something so funny. Yesterday was tidying my hair, then kor was asking me to touch his back whether got muscles or not and I get so fed up with him. Didn't he've any eyes to look that I've no hand for that? Shit.... and he get angry with my attitude, lol what to do? Sianz... read the conversation below:
He: Go die la
Me: Yah lah, yah lah, me go die better la
He: Go lah!
Me: Return me back my money first la!
He: [Banging the cupboard door, searching here and there for his wallet]
He: Nah, take it [Throwing 50 bucks towards me]
After awhile
He: Give back my change!
Me: [Blur what change? Thought he owes me 170 bucks? ]
Me: What change?
Me: [Starts to recall, he only intend to return me 20 bucks only] *Grin*
Sianz... haven't got back all my money think I'll want to die? No definitely no way... ! Stupid bloody hell. Say what, my attitude sucks as if the whole family owes me? I think should be the other way round bahx... I show you attitude, then why must you starts to change your expression towards dad and mom? You ownself then have attitude problem still wanna say people, go eat shit lah! Curse you... fail your practical license again... bleahx...
Oh dear is taking up my time to scold him... k gonna stop here. Hm... here's my test...
You are a person who is willing to share.
You are a bit more choosy on friends and only hangout with those whom you think are on the same frequency.
What you want in your life is half fullfilled.
You are weak in your life and tends to be fragile.
You have high sex drive.
You have a few good friends in your life.
Your last relationship is good and it's still fresh in your heart.
Even when your partner is around you, you will flirt around with others.
You've got a low ego.
A humble personality is in you.
You get average bond with your friends.
Your partner is only average in your heart.
Your partner is a very homely and humble person.
You seek your partner whenever you are met with problems.
Lol... that's about all...
I hope I'll luv myself more
09:48
23 December 2005
Wo tao yen deng dai, deng dai zi hui ji cheng shan hai
Feeling so feverish, but not running fever, checked my temperature, 35 degree? Woo, cool... cold blooded... *Yawn*
I'm waiting for ur sms, not dare to sms u cuz u're sick. Jux wanna u to let miie know tt u're feeling better but u didn't, nvm... is okie... * Took a deep breath* N yah, today's ur friend birthday? Hahax... sorry for not accompanying you der, just hope that you enjoyed yourself to the fullest... but promise not to go when you have not yet recovered kies? Take care...
Feel so ke lian, gotta work again. Haish... if never work, no money nehx... hahax, no choice! Yea, take great care all moii friends...
Wo tao yen deng dai, deng dai zhi hui ji cheng shan hai...
-iish moii fault-
I hope I'll luv myself more
18:31
Just came back from work
Yes he was back to work, Kelvin koh! Hahax... sms me when we're on the bus. Opps, didn't saw him but he spotted me, smiled at me when we reached the guardhouse. Yes, miss him lots~
Know that he've lots of things wanna say to me, but we just didn't have the time to chat with one another, sianz.. wondering how have he been. Hm, later he going for a check up, wondering is he okay? Worried for him... saturday hahax... x'mas... ask me go his house? No way man! I wanna rest at home during day time and night time going clubbing with friends...
Today Gina and I so special, we went back at 6am whereas the rest gotta work till 8am. Hm, cuz we told May that we gotta go to school lol. Hahax... and Adrain believed? Hahax... so came back home, hm... don't feel like going at all. But gonna miss lots of IAC lesson, 3hrs man! Hahax... see how later kies? Before I left called Lei Lei my kor to call Kelvin, cuz wanna ask him takecare and say bye bye to him but he was busy. Hm... nevermind... I'll sms him later...
Hm, miss him so much... yes him... haish...
Holiday packed with lots of events and outings... sianz norhx.. can't rest at home. Hm, think CNY not going back to M'sia... very sianz... see if any friends wanna invite me to their house and ton over night... heex...
Oh yah, we didn't work as QC cuz I told May to ask someone else. Really feel the stress when we haven't even started to do anything. Just feel that it's not fair to the rest of the people there. And more or less sure kena gossiped de... so...
Hm, tired le... me going to sleep. Takecare everyone and rest well... miss you guys lots lots.. .
I hope I'll luv myself more
07:06
22 December 2005
Working tonight
Cool, hard work really pays off. Today IAC CA1, hahax... manage to balance... yea... that's the dae I'm waiting fer~~
Hm... haven't been chatting to mom for daes... haish... feel so bad... but I realli dunno how to face her either...
It seems like less communication 'll makes me feel better at home. I'm no longer sad... guess veyr soon I'll be the happygirl again... hahax...
Going to work ler... sianz... tiring... but today gonna do what the QC do. Cuz... 2 QC resigned... ? Guess so... hopefully it's not going to be too tough... hahax...but very pressurize...
1 week holiday 4 days taken? Monday morning CO, tuesday zestistic outing, wednesday class outing, thursday... still available... haha... friday think i"m going to JB to find my dearest cousin...
Left the weekends for project and taxation revision... sianz...
That's about all, running late... take great care everyone. I misses you all
I hope I'll luv myself more
18:10
21 December 2005
What am I doing?
Yesterday went to friend house to drink, didn't get drunk, but gastic pain. Dotx... what a lousy drinker... no wonder... haish....
I hope I'll luv myself more
14:29
20 December 2005
Who can grant my wish?
Just reached home from school and I just couldn't have some peace, sianz... mom was nagging at elder brother, what the fuck! Chee Bye, he didn't do anything you nag at him for what? Haven't get pay how to give dad? Na bei, stupid or brainless? Some more, he's not his biological son why must he contribute his income to this household? There are just so many thing happening around at home, you're the most innocent person, so just shut up your mouth and say nothing. You're being lied by him...
Dad's owning **K from the bank, but where has all the money gone to? Gamble? I'm 99.9% he gamble it away... who caused all these today? He's the one... but did anyone of us look down on him? No... none of us looking down on him. We tried to help him every mean we could, but it seems that none of us are able to help him. We care for him more than you do, so please stop commenting that we're looking down on him.
So what, he banged his head unto the floor towards the wall? He's just being stupid, the ever stupiest father that I've seen and ask him stop acting like a fool, acting so dramatical... oh well, no one will sympathy him except you the fool! Sianz...
Sigh... no one will ever cares about me... anyone close to me know that I'm having exam this coming thursday? None, none of you... none of you cares. And yet all this stupid thing is happening everyday at home, I just couldn't have any peace at home. I simply hate the life staying at home, staying at this fucking home, staying with all the fuckers... I'm also turning to a fucker too... sian... real sianz...
Everyone at home is avoiding facts... they are so unrealistic at all. Including me. He thought of ending his life, he too and he too and me too. All wanted to end our life... great... that gonna be great. Lets all die together kies? Promise... we shall die as a family...
Elder kor survived and respected him [dad] all because of you. But you just couldn't seal your mouth for just a min, you drove him to nut. You forced him to become like this, I got nothing else to say other than saying I hate you! He cried, really cried... he's no longer strong... he cried... I just couldn't believe he really cried because he's sick of being a life... my tears dropped... dropped for you my kor... I really could feel the stress mom's giving you. I feel so sorry that I couldn't help you much but to scold her, shouted at her and yelled at her. My heart was so broken... why is she always siding him? Is she really blinded? Haix... if drug is all that you could go for, could help you to destress, go ahead... go ahead and leave me behind...
I hate you too, kor... you're so selfish... you're enjoying youself yet leaving me so miserable at home. Could you please buy me some sleeping pills or just give me an injection and numb me... ? Please don't enjoy yourself... bring me along... you shall never ever leave me, will you?
I hates my life... why am I born in such a dramatic family? Why... who can answer me? Why my life's always so torturing... so unfair? Why????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Who's really there for me when I'm feeling like now? None... there's no one I could go to...
Who can just give me a stab and grant my wish? I wish to die... really wish to die... but I don't deny I don't have the guts to commit suicide... I really don't have the guts.. I'm a coward... =(
Muz I really collapse and then they will starts to give me what I need? Family love is all I needed the most. But none of them are giving me... nagging and nagging and quarrel and fighting all days are the most capable things that they could do to let me live in the life of drama...
I'm going nuts...
H A T R E D
I hope I'll luv myself more
15:19
In school
Now having BCM tutorial, sianz... teaching fascimile message? Lol...
Real sianz... online also no people to chat with. Hahax... everyone copying the notes but I'm here to update my blog lolx...
No friendster... not use to it. Haish... first thing online is to log in friendster ma. Fianlly, IAC got to balance during class test, cool... the outcome of being hardworking norhx... hahax... contended.
Lots of revision, last time de, still left with 4 questions to complete. Yesterday think we didn't went for IAC? So I think still 've a few questions more and today gotten 3 questions more? (o_oll) Speechless... lol... 7 questions to do tonight? Hopefully I won't slack norhx.... hahax...
Lol... going to copy notes le... =D
Xiang yen ni men~~
I hope I'll luv myself more
10:13
iish nite time again...
Today spent quite a lot... cab fare and x'mas pizza treat fer kor kor and jie jie. Lols...
Lurfing Shan Ru Hai by Jay and Lara... listening 24hours bai ting bu ni...
3 more days and that ish moii IAC CA1 le, but still see the soopid miie, still didn't get the formal done correctly. Sianz... lack of practice bahs...
Iish nite time again, missing aiai... c, missing euu yea euu... wondering how you been doing lately. Hopefully you're doing fine... I realised how fast time files... or have I been slacking too much?
Nah, I'm going to sleep or else tml kakis YY gonna have a hard time to wake me up again le.
Xiang yen ni men...
llSaddix APG suo wan an zai ling cheng shi er dian er shi jiu fenll
I hope I'll luv myself more
00:25
19 December 2005
I'm exhausted
Handphone rang from 5.45am plus plus till 9am... I'm still sleeping... dotx... today having exam nehx, am I aware about it? Yes... I'm... lots of smses to wake me up, but there's none that I've read till I took the bus to the interchange. Lol...
Fucking school giving us that fucking schedule also not accurate de... sianz... they 2nd rely, why must call us to reach at 10am when there's no room to let us stay inside? And the 2nd rely starts only at 11am but why called us to reach so early? My mind was full of dotx you know? Shit... bloody helll...
Took train till Clementi and then alight and take cab to simei. Cuz I really thought must reach there at 10am... dotx dotx dotx... then who know I waited at there till 11 ++ still not yet started? Wo de tian arh... know how pain my heart is?
Who can give me two tight slaps on my face just to wake me up every morning? Sianz... I'm really sick of schooling... without fail... every exam I'll be late for either one module... and for sure I gonna spend 20 bucks on cab fare... which can be used as my allowances for one week? Sianz... I'm really sianz... so damn e sianz... fuck off school~
Listening pretty okay bahx... haish... kakis Jing not here today and Mr Hari asked me to do for her? And I was liike huh huh huh? Really?!! Can I? Then why not tell me earlier on? So that I won't be rushing down there just to take that stupid listening compre when I was feeling so terrible e giddy... seeing full of starts... haish...
Friend don't ask me go see doctor, no use e... cuz is anaemia that I'm suffering... [ping xue]. Last time, see doctor what he said was my blood pressure too low. What all I need is rest... supplementary pills... ... ... ... ... ... ... blah blah blah... shit... no use no use no use at all.
Haish... that's why I always feel giddy, feels like vomitting yet can't be vomitted out and also easy exhausted... sianz... that's all I wanna say... no matter how much rest I had, is always insufficient for me...
Sob...
I hope I'll luv myself more
13:34
18 December 2005
Running out of multi-column pad
Shit! So sianz... running out of multi-column pad how to do revision for my IAC? Gosh~ ~ ~ Very lazy go down and buy nehx... how how?
Haish... taking a break norhx... nothing to do, so sianz... life's at home is just sucks... missing schoo life's. Holiday week, Monday gonna be busy... diaox... (o_oll) then the rest of days gonna be bored... ask me out ask me out k?
I hope I'll luv myself more
18:48
When I'm famished, I'm famished, but when I'm full, I'm extremely full
Haha... last time came back at around 1am till morning 7am like that then I went offline. Thought of doing revision after resting, but I fallen asleep lol... till now [12pm +] then wake up then real hungry... so jio my kor to buy either mac or pizza.
Actually just cross one road, there's a Mac... but none of us wanna go down and buy so we ordered the delivery... and guess what? Thye said have to wait for 1.5hours... then I was like (o_oll) dotx... nevermind, what to do... so wait lor. But very happy is that, in real fact, they took only half an hour. Glad glad...
Shit... now then know that there's a progress test for IAC tomorrow nehx. Sianz... how how how? Tml 1 test, 1 exam... all haven't study norhx... haish... both also needs practice de... haish...
Hao le... I gotta go there and do revision le... sianz arh...
I hope I'll luv myself more
14:05
Here's my dramatic family story
Think it was 2nd uncle who called Dad last evening. No special intention but borrowing money from dad was all his motive. Our family used to be wealthy last time, long long ago but definitely not now. We are just as poor as beggars, very soon this shelter that we're living now gonna be gone as well when he's gone.
Poor daddy didn't even have the moeny to settle his 3 meals but why still wanna lent him money? That's the thing that we [2nd bro and I] couldn't tolerate at all. Sleeping soundly of him was being awake by dad's thunder voice. I knew he have tries his best to control himself but still he started the fight...
Things weren't that nasty if he [2nd bro] could just shut his mouth after the first lecture to dad's. But he just wanted to cause something more nasty than that so he added on and on with lots of ja-pa-lang in it, digging all the past and scolded him.
After hanging up the call, dad asked him what he has done that offended him? He even asked him to beat him up if that makes him feels better. But of course, he's not that bastard to beat his own dad's up.
I acted nothing when I heard the fight, till my poor mummy screamed and I heard that stumble fall [think it was dad's?]. Then that's when I went out of the room to hold my niece into the room, given her that tortise to hug, I could feel the great fear in her when that silence tears rolled down her cheeks...
I wanted to stop everything but again, I do not wish to side anyone of them. 'Cuz both of them are in fault all I wanted to 'save' is my mummy. But I can't possible do much but to call my sis get back home asap [Lol... mummy asked me to call de]. And here it goes, the fight... mummy tears dropped... trying her best to stop the fight but sigh... she failed and hurts her own head instead. Oh well, I just can't be bother... [Thought: When dad said let him die, I really wish to shout... "Was it die the only way to solve the matter? If yes then let me die to enlight your burden". I didn't said it out cuz I believe no ones will heard what I said... oh... that's simply because I'm not the main character in this drama. But really have a thought of running to the highest floor and that's it... but come to think of it, is stupility enough to do that right?]
Everyone acted except me, in the room sending smses asking friends to accompany out. Don't wish to stay in this dramatic home but it seems like the best person's away to camp. Haish... then nevermind, what can I do? Feeling so lost nothing could be more enjoyable other than some cool stuffs? Haunting for it... I know some of my friends know where to get this stuffs, but they refused to help. And I doubt he'll help me too... just too pitiful that I didn't have ZW no, if I've... I won't be so torturing... drinking cans of beer just to numb my mind. *Btw, head really pain*
Back from commercial...
Dad, mom and kor were there sitting down at that corner, cried. Overheard what he said, actually we meant well for you. I don't wish to beat you 'cuz you're my dad... and why must you lend your fucking brother money when you yourself even have the problem of eating? Mummy added with "Yah yah... "... asking him to be more zhen qi, 'cuz CNY coming don't act too harshly and impulsively. Nothing should happen to him at this 'critical' moment. Oh well... when I saw this scenerio, I was like . . . *speechless*...
Yea he cares for him... did he know? But why just can't they have a nice talk? Must they really fight just to pull closer this relations? Sigh... I don't understand... really don't understand.
Everyone include sis also dropped tears... except me this cold-blood just can't be bother. Oh well, I've no more tear to shed for them... fake smile is what I've now...
Looked for him to accompany me, cuz I know he's feeling down too. But sianz... he choose to work, then fine. No comment lol... *Speechless* again...
Wanna go Mdm Wong's pub to find Angel but she said she is not working today. *Yawn* then forget about it. Went out with Jac and him... just back not long ago... yup, feeling better
Famished, great hunger... all I get was only half sandwich and I'm full by watching the above dramatic show...
Thanks for that treat, Jac and that hot milo you made for me when we're at Jac's house...
I know he knew everything and thanks sis for asking him to take care of me. Thanks lotta.
I'm fine now... simply hates my life...
I hope I'll luv myself more
00:45
17 December 2005
Famished
Dotx... famished! Where's my dinner? Haish... sleep sleep sleep that's all they know how to do. =(
I hope I'll luv myself more
17:51
Unusal
Just woke up, was rather early for me cuz this is not the usual me. Haha, normally weekends will sleep till mom came back but this weekends is very precious to me cuz I've tons of endlessly homework to do. So cannot slack any more.
Sleepy, but I'll still try to do as much as I can. Vacation week, one day taken by zestistic group. Going to beach, yea that's my favourite place worx! But then sad thing's that they have to get back home before 6pm... =( Haish... maybe I'll like to stay there alone till night?
As day passes by, I'd discovered that I misses them deeper and deeper. Having an urge to let them know how much I misses them
I hope I'll luv myself more
10:19
16 December 2005
I've grown up
Sianz... said already I don't wanna eat dinner, but why still buy my share? Wa kao, I've grown up please stop treating as if I was still a 9 years old kid hao bu hao? I'm big enough to take care myself. Please give me F R E E D O M qing ai de mama ~ ~
Really no appetite to eat, rotted mood still come and disturb me. (o_oll) Get out of my way!!!
May called while I was sleeping asking me whether wanna work tonight or not. Then say what, they kena hooked . . . ??? Haha, don't ever talk to me when I'm sleeping lah, really remember what you've said... KK? I think the pay rate still the same bah? And they all together need only 25 contractors lol. Hahas, actually tempted to work tonight... but I'm real tired. Haix... forget it. Everyone's reaching out to me for money... where do I've when I didn't work?
L i f e ' s a t h o m e i s r e a l l i s u c k s . . .
So friend please ask me out to anywhere, be it at the beach listening to that soothing wave sound, or hanging at pub drinking, shopping @ anywhere in singapore, or just hang out at 24hours mac... and rox till rot I also willing than to stay at home.
Monday BCM listening compre, diaox... me only have one practice nehx... think I'll pass? Pray for me and friend please wake me up at 5:45AM... xie xie ni men...!
Then wednesday having IAC CA1... diao... pray for me that I can balance at the first time hao bu hao... my mood will become rotted if can't balance de orh? Pray pray pray... that's all I can do.
And finally I've found my strawberries... has been haunting for it for donkey years finally found it. Luckily still fresh... yea... =D
I very sianz... waiting for him to online. Found a job for him, don't know he wanna work or not. Rather tough... well, no choice...
Lotta thoughts... lotta work... hahas... but nevermind, I'll have a nice weekends...
Mr Cheo's birthday, nearly kena sabo back and all girls ran away? Diaox... they called themselves my friends? Nvm... haha... Mr Hari, you watch it...
Hao le... that's about all bahx...
I hope I'll luv myself more
19:38
What a sunny morning
Today good girl worx, kakis morning called me then wake up and shower. Take MRT and I overslept till Simei le, luckily she called or else I think I'm sleeping till pasir ris le. Wahaha... then so bad of her go and spread around... =( Till I so pai sey norhx... haish... kidding.
Next wednesday IAC lecturer, Mr Cheo birthday but he's gonna be away for course. So we intend to help him celebrate for him today worx! Haha... yea again gonna take lotta pix...
What a sunny morning. Haish... so walked very fast just to avoid that sun. Hm... luckily classroom all air con... =]
Nothing to do now, so here to crap and crap. Haha... okay le, gotta copy letters le. Everytime spoon feed us de ley... hates.
Finish copying, just some thoughts over here. I've decided not to work for the one week holiday, maybe just to do some revision just to catch up those things I missed. Hm... like that no income nehx... but nevermind. See if I can find some job that is worth to work lor. And I'll plan from there.
Wa liao, did I said something wrong? I just said that I don't like him to spoon feed us with all the answer. Afterall, letter isn't difficult to write, is rather easy to score for an A if you really do tons of exercises. Haish... then she was like commented? Sianz... not my business... I just shared my own point of view. If she don't feel like writing all that questions during the coming vacation, then her problem le...
Though is real lots, but exam, end module exam is March... march... march... we left with only another 3 more months to go. Haish... sianz... real sianz lorx...
I hope I'll luv myself more
08:23
15 December 2005
Can anyone tell how bored I'm?
Sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz
sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz
sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz...
Haix haix haix haix haix haix haix haix haix haix haix haix haix haix haix haix haix haix haix...
Life's so boring, it seems like day wouldn't pass unless I say all that... sianz and haix... real bored though tons of homework waiting for me...
I discovered lots of things.. lots of thoughts but simply lazy to type it out... simply me...
Yi dian dou le guan bu qi...
I hope I'll luv myself more
19:07
Haish...
Now time is 1:24AM just finish doing my accounts revision paper. Though cannot balance but at least I tried to do lol. Haish... not happy at all, cuz still have Business Com and Taxation homwork haven't do. And 4 more revision papers for P&L tomorrow. But I very tired and sleepy yet can't sleep cuz zhao liang le, advice from friend, take a hot shower? Wahaha... lazy norhx... beside just came out from bathroom 3hours before.
Tomorrow lesson starts at 10am, lecturer gonna starts on Disposal. Monday so fast, CA1 le... sianz... listening... my weak point lol... the ah moh too slang le... dun understand at all. If I really leave blanks, will he helps me to fill in the correct answer?
Hey people who cares for me please wakes me up everyday norhx... don't let me overslept, don't let me miss lesson and motivate me and encourage me to hang on there. CA1 coming next week, if continue to be like this, sure gonna flunk de... please help me orh?
I hope I'll luv myself more
01:23
14 December 2005
Finally I"m happy?
Haha... second times received her miss callS and then I finally she de wake up. Before she hangs up, reminded me "Qi lai le, bu yao zai shui le" Then I say "Orh"... haha... then I went back to sleep again till 9am when CH called me... hahas... luckily she wakes me up if not I think today no need to help my aiai, mic to celebrate her 18th birthday le... so xie xie ni CH...
Pizza treat for Mr Hari our class advisor. Very nice lecturer he's. Secret... [He changed my attendance for me for the past few days... haha... tks lotta Mr Hari] We took some pix waiting for YY to sent me... haha... xin ku ta le. Yea...
Of course birthday girl is happy lol. Haha... so many hugs and kisses she get. Then went took cab back to school cuz late for lesson le. Haha... Mr Hari paid for it, find it so guilty norhx... cuz we're the one who asked him to join us. Haha... so pai sey norhx...
Then we take out the cake we bought for her in class, as simei ite classroom are all transparent, guess next door students saw it. Then one guy wrote Happy Birthday Michelle. Haha... we were like so surprised... that he actually knew it was Michelle birthday as none of us know one another. So I asked Mic to write back "Thanks" haha... she did... cuz she scare that I really will use the duster to dust on her precious face. Haha... so bo bian.. gotta guai guai e listening to me.
Then Mr Hari added "She's taken, and below of that, he wrote his name" Haha... then next class guy wrote "No need, cuz I'm a gay" wahaha... our class appalused... haha... then again I forced Mic to write "Ok... I'm a les" and he wrote back "Then we change together and go ROM"... wahaha... we clapped again! Haha... then think his lecturer realease them le... and he wrote "Bye Bye I go liao, next time then chat"... haha... fun... real loving that time... really enjoyed.
Don't like to be at home especially with that fucking kia at home. So sianz... everytime only know how to say I waste electricity nia... go hell k? Fuck off~~ Sianz... mummi ask him call dad to buy dinner and guess what he said? He said if he wanna buy buy lor... dun wanna buy den dun buy la... bloody hell la... then better er si zui hao... call also don't wanna call then later come and please me go and buy dinner for him... chee bye... si gin na... bo bye...
K le... don't wanna let him spoils my mood... I wanna go meet May and pass her punch card le. Then go develope pix... and then come back home and shower and do homework... tons of it pending for me... sianz... endlessly homework... that's all...
I hope I'll luv myself more
18:31
13 December 2005
Rotted mood
Was happily enjoying doing homework while there's someone pressing the door bell. I went to take a look didn't know who is he, so didn't open the door for him and who knows after awhile, my electricity is cutted off... sob =(
Hm... cuz me yesterday then pay the utilities bills they not yet received yet, so dad came back and get it reconnected again. Haish...
Before that was chatting with mom, don't know what... haish... feeling very bad for the past few days... rotted mood and everyone at home discovered that I changed... attitute become worse and worse since worked. Haish... then mummy shared her xin shi, then I also don't know why, don't understand her, talk to her also vomit blood... slowly slowly... burst into tears...
Haish... so sad... no more mood to do homework le. When everyone always mistaken me??? Xi wang ni men hui liao jie wo, xi wang ni men hui ti liang wo, zhen de he xi wang ni men neng gou gei wo duo yi dian shi jian... dui bu qi... dui bu qi... dui bu qi... ='( ='( ='(
I hope I'll luv myself more
19:47
Not again overslept?
3 miss calls and finally the 4th calls I woke up, guess I too tired le. Sianz... though wake up le, but still went back to sleep till now, 8:03AM lesson already started...
Mummy also no power to wake me up, dad also... sianz arh... so mani ppl wake me up this morning also didn't manage to let me get out of bed and go to school on time. Sianz... real sianz...
So now decided to go for the 2nd lesson of IAC at 1pm? Think so, then 3pm go back home agian, so bo liao. Don't feel like going at all, but for the sake of saving myself from being debar, I go.
Yesterday night slept at 3am, that's why lol. Hm, think that's about all.
I hope I'll luv myself more
08:02
12 December 2005
Endless homework, project coming ='(
Sianz... the whole evening only do 2 questions.... diaox... brother and mother talking so loudly in the room, sshhhh... can I've some peace? Fuck off lah~~
Switching on the com since afternoon, half way chatting, half way doing homework while listening to songs and half way surfing net... that's why... I still left with lotta homework. Sianz... project coming... diao... real sianz... school life's sucks... real sucks...
Tomorrow lesson at 8am... what lesson is that? IAC? Sianz... cannot afford to miss any more. But Mr Cheo not coming, he's on course. Erm... then think the most we'll be doing the revision paper that he given us, then Ms Tan 'll be checking our answer bahx. So meaningless nehx... how? Haha... ic how... if I can wake up then I go, if can't then too bad... sianz... lecturer the last lesson... diaox... dot dot dot...
Haish... shut up lah... =[
I hope I'll luv myself more
23:24
Giddy, vomit, running nose + gastric pain
Yesterday last min May called asking me whether I'm free to go down and help out. Dotx... of course I want but was too sudden, sianz... so told her I'm clocking in at 11pm plus. But who knows when I reached there, is already 12am... exactly on the dot. Haha, the taxi driver cannot find the place norhx... not our fault.
Worked half way, feeling so giddy and feel like vomitting then gastric kinda pain pain. Haish... then cannot tahan... came back at 5am... cab fare, $14.80... sianz... only earned $40 then have to pay almost half for it.
Came back home my head was like going to crack soon, so so so pain not even I can close my eyes to sleep. Haish... struggling after awhile sleep le. All the way till mummi came back home at 2pm. Kena say again, says that yue xue yue bu xiang yang, zhang da le, ci pang yin le, hui fei le... ... ... pay for school fees yet don't wanna go school... hell... did she know that I'm sick? Tell her me head v dizzy then ask me go shower, I went shower she screamed: "ARE YOU DONE?!!" Of course I'm not, I'm washing my clothes mummy!!! Can you let me have some peace? Haish...
Later going to take my homework from kakis Hau's. Accounting 5qns for homework. Sigh... Mr Cheo everytime like this, tons of work... endlessly just to prepare us for coming CA. K... I'm done... I'm going to do my homework that he given us on Friday... Haish... that's all...
Mummi, xiao yi... please take good care of yourself. Don't make me worry for you worx... loves you lots lots always... muackies~~
To all friends [Speacially for mummi xiao yi, jo's, mh, ch, yy, ch, baby jas, ty, k, t, a...]: Xi huan jiu yao zi ji qu zhen qu... ji hui shi you dan yi dan cuo shi le nan jiu bu neng wan hui le... no matter what things you like or who you like... =)
Xiang yen wo de peng you... ^-^
I hope I'll luv myself more
14:52
11 December 2005
Watched the SYCO Play and I finally discover that my interest is still playing cello. Have a thought of regretting for not going the concert as well as not participating in this concert. Sigh...
Nothing much, chest kinda pain... haix... small matter... zhen de hen xi wang neng da bing yi chang... at least all at one shot and make me feeling pain at one shot, don't fancy little pain everyday, is torturing...
Wanted to do many things, so many things pending for me. Clothes to wash, homework and revision to do. Perhaps a self reflection too...
Now writing X'mas card for all friends... haha... no time to decorate, so sorry worx! A card wishing everyone a very Happy X'mas norhx... heex....
Hm... haven't finish writing then come here and update my blog blog norhx... haix... discovered that I've nothing to update at all... lol... that's about all bahx...
Take great care everyone...
10s 10s kelly and Qin for accompanying me yesterday night... so sorry to have taken up you girls time... Pai sey... wahahaha... kelly promise to meet up another time kies? Haha...
Missing everyone norhx...
I hope I'll luv myself more
17:40
Wo yao xue hui zuo ren jiu shi yao le guan
Bao qian wo qing ai de mummi, ran ning tan xin le wo liang tian yi ye, zhen bu hao yi shi. Xi wang ning de ping you hao yi dian
By right I should be going to watch the SYCO young rising star's concert but in the end I didn't went, was feeling kinda sick and tired. So stayed up at friend house till 11pm + then went down to meet kelly and qin.
Chatted lotta, ba wo suo you de fan nao dou shou chu lai le. They've given me advices, thanks lotta! Na... wo yao xue hui zuo ren jiu shi yao le guan
Xiao xiao... *Smiling* Tomorrow 'll be a better day~ Yea!
I hope I'll luv myself more
05:39
08 December 2005
Jialin aka happygirl aka chanel aka attitude problem girl aka saddix, where am I now? I'm lost
So is he message(d) me during BCM lesson. Yea, of course I'm happy missing him as a friend. But after few messages, something is amiss and not again? Yea... the same question [You have bf?] I promised to give another answer [Y] but still I told him [N]. But this time round, I added with [but don't wish to be in a r'ship]. But he doesn't seems to mind what I've said.
I didn't know why I told him that I don't wish to be in a r'ship, perhaps I'm waiting for him bahx. Maybe really liked him... that's why bahx. Reached home pretty late, quickly online and waited for him but his status is still offline. Couldn't reach him, have a thoughts of running down to fetch a cab and knock on his door just to wake him up, praying hard that he won't be late for work. Then finally saw him online, glad... finally song le yi kou qi... then when I saw his nick... "do you know how much I miss u? who can replace her =( - Those days u karp my phone, ur scolding, ur moring calls & ur caring... =(" and I went like this... --> (o_oll) Haha... cute? Yea... how cute i'm gonna look with tears rolling down my cheeks when other thoughts came in like tsunami?
Nevermind, always like this... they promised to wait but they can't afford to wait, then why bother? I'm sick and tired of all these... if you couldn't afford to wait, then give up and just let me know. Waiting does not involve only you, alone, its involve both parties k? When you've given up please let me know, thanks...~~
If you can't forget her, then don't fall in love with me. I'm not your ti shi gui, not your spare tyre and for sure I'm not her replacement... -.-''
Ru guo zhen de wang bu liao ta, nan jiu wang le wo bahx.. hao ma? Ai... shi she me lai de, she me jiao zhen ai? You you shui neng gao shi wo ne? Wo yi jing lei le, but xiang zai wan zhe you xi... yi dian dou bu hao wan. *Ku le* ='(
You xin shi ye bu neng he wo de jie jie fen xiang... wei she me? Zhe shi she me dao li? Wo men bu shi yi jia ren ma? Shi de wo, bu jiu shi yao yi qi fen xiang xi nu ai le ma? Wo cuo le ma? Wo hao bu kai xin, tao yan wo xian zai de shen huo, na dao si jiu neng yi liao bai liao ma? Ru guo neng, wo zhen de hen xiang si... wo de ren sheng yi dian she cai dou mei you, na huo zhe hai you she men yong? ... * = [ *
I hope I'll luv myself more
20:38
07 December 2005
Stuffing myself
Sigh... third entries of the day. I've lotta thoughts but I didn't know how should I put into words.
My mom, I think she's sick, she's not feeling well. Hopefully she would recover soon. Haix... still doing CNY decorations. Can't stand her, same with my daddy. Health not very good, ask them rest also don't want, so damn e sturborn... no wonders given birth to me, sturborn piglet
Haix... wanna do e-tutor also cannot. Think something's wrong with the server but at least I gained some percentage of completing my e-tutor. Luckily if not he's going to nag at me. Think I had been slacking too much, where's the hardworkingness gone to? Sianz...
My mood was once again rotted due to so many reasons... aniwae... I'm going off to take a cold shower and after which going to do my revision le. I'm bored at home. Sianz...
Stuffing myself with lotta foods, hopefully I'd throw them out at one go and that makes me feels better. Throw out all unahppiness... =(
Happygirl -- Chanel -- APG -- Sturborn piglet -- (=.=)
I hope I'll luv myself more
14:35
Bad news
Just received call from my kakis saying that Jing Jing [another kakis of mine] wanna quit school. So sianz... why is she everytime like this? I know she 've reasons behind it but can she share it out? What's her problem none of us know, and none of us could reach her. Why? Why are we such a failure? When she's in needs of help... none of us is there for her... why am I... ... ... such a loser? Sigh...
She promised to call me back, I sincerely hope she'll. At least she told me the reason, and I would respect her decision. But one thing for sure I'm gonna say, she's someone potential in studying... is really a waste if she's gonna quit school now... haix...
Kakis eva...
Jing, lin, mic, yeong, hau...
I hope I'll luv myself more
12:34
Skipped school =(
Just woke up, time now is 11:56AM... hm... didn't went to school. Sigh, every Wednesday I really didn't have the mood to go to school. The time table was totally sucks...
10-11AM -> S&W
11-12PM -> Lunch
12-1PM -> DS
1-3PM -> BCM
Most of the time I'll only go for the last two lessons, as they were important. But sometimes I felt that I travel all the way to there was like wasting of my time as he didn't teach anything... =( So that's why today I've decided to stay at home
Hm... gonna do e-tutor and later gonna do revision. Some thoughts below
My monthly expenses
EZ-link --> $53
Internet bill --> $48
Handphone bill --> $35 [Hopefully every mth 'll maintain like this and not went up to near 80 bucks like the past few months... ]
School fees --> $300
Allowance --> $100
Total --> $536
Haix... so much... where to find the money if I don't wanna work? Hm... that's about all...
I hope I'll luv myself more
11:55
06 December 2005
Thoughts
If I were given the same question again, I would give the other answer. ='(
Why must all these happens to me? Is so miserable, did they know? Haish... yea they confessed, they waited and they promise to wait but they given up half way when I starts to have the feeling for them and I had been waiting for them while another comes in... =(
Intermedia Accounting Progress Test result was out, I scored only 61%... I could sense the great disappointment in his tone when he added "I've given you some discounts but..." Haix... I felt the same way as he did too, but previously on the Friday, I did message him and told him be prepare to be disappointed with me already. Haha... cuz I know I won't be scoring 100% this time round. Haix...
What's went wrong with me? I really wish to know. I'm contradicted... I'm lost... where's my guidance angel? Where has it gone to?
Working life's enjoyable, get to have more allowances and get to have more funky friends. But sometimes things weren't that simple. Especially when ones fall for you... and you are in two minds. Haix...
I promise, all I wanna now is to concentrate on my studies and work for the sake of supporting myself. No matter how nice the guys treated me, I'll never fall for him. I'm still too young to know what's true love... that's for sure. I don't wanna be hurt and I don't wanna hurt the other party too.
Hm... New year's coming on the way, I wanna have a new hair cut, wanna dye it, if I coudd afford I wanna do highlight as well as rebonding for fringe. Hahas... and after which, is time to be sensible, I wanna to be wise and sensible, that's my new year resolution. Haha... gotta starts to save up money le norhx... and not keep spending like running tap
Hahas... k that's about all. I wanna be mummy girl. Go shower cuz mummy wanna wash clothes later. Heex... all my working clothes... great mummy I've got. And after shower, think 'll be doing revision for intermedia accounting bahx. Sigh, gotta resit for this test again on Friday after school. Well, nvm. I believe I can do better this time round. Gotta be optimistic rite? Yea, that's the way man... the happygirl I used to be online... the chanel always... loving myself... ^-^
I hope I'll luv myself more
16:01
05 December 2005
Lots of thoughts
Nowadays has been busying with work and studies. Haha, is so tiring. But what to do? I really don't know how am I going to survive when I run out of money to use.
Met Jo's to treat her a sushi treat for her birthday, guess we ate quite a lot. Hahaz... yea was a memorable one. Shi jie hao xiao wo... saw ** at JP. Sianz... tot of avoiding *** but not to good, so keep on staring at *** to see if ** saw me and yea ** did. Sianz...
A lot of thoughts, real lots. That kind of feeling's gone and *** nick was like *****. But frankly speaking la, I'm contradicted lol.
Not going to talk about all these, all I wanna is to study hard. Haish... today accounts progress test paper balance sheet couldn't balance. Haix... so sianz rite? But nvm, I'll work hard for the CA1 which is coming in 2 weeks time...
Guess that's about all... gonna sleep... tired... miss everyone lots lots
I hope I'll luv myself more
20:26
03 December 2005
Today's scorpio.
Bottom line: Your ambitious is strong, but is time to let some alternative ideas come into play.
In details: Admit it: You've got a tendency to hold things in when you ought to just let 'em out and let the chips fall where they may. Spilling the beans now is endorsed by the stars, and the feeling of relief you'll get is a reward in and of itself. As for what happens afterward, you'll need to relinquish your desire to control that too. Whatever will be, will be, and you'll handle it much more gracefully if you let it be.
Things had been pretty smoothly for me these few days, nothing much just as usual. Lecturers knew about my problem so they were pretty understanding, glad =)
Not another one? Sigh... hopefully not. I'm sick and tired of all these and I don't wish to be in a r'ship now. All I wanted is to study hard, earn lotta money to support myself and I'm contended.
Yesterday, was so S T U P I D of me. I did the pasting of logos and all slanted. Sigh, I really don't know what's the matter with me. So we did the rescreen all because me the idiot... sorry. Guess kak kak must be damn disappointed with me... haix... anyway, my name was recorded, hahaz... bleahx... *NUTS*
Guess that's about all, running late. Gotta do some revision for my accounts le. Haha... monday having progress test and I wanna do well and not letting my lecturer disappointed with me.
I hope I'll luv myself more
15:27
